Hi JazzyJ:

This is one of the most frequent questions parents ask me. And despite what many think, the unbudging parent-child struggle over messy bedrooms isn’t necessarily the child’s fault.

Let me explain.

When a parent asks me how to get their kids to clean and maintain their bedrooms, I lob this question back at them: Are your children’s bedrooms set up to make it easy for them to organize and maintain? Sometimes we don’t realize that our children aren’t cleaning and organizing their rooms the way we’d like because they simply can’t.

My first rule is to eliminate all roadblocks to maintaining the room. I suggest taking a tour of your sons’ bedrooms at their eye level. Literally. (Since I don’t know the ages of your boys, it’s difficult for me to give you specific guidelines.)

As you tour their bedrooms, ask yourself the following questions.

How functional are their dressers? You mentioned that they need help keeping their clothing drawers in order. Are the drawers hard to open or crammed full? Would it be easier for your sons to replace their dressers with clear, properly labeled boxes in a shelving unit or open clear bins along the wall?

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD? Symptom Test for Kids]

I have found that if we give children, especially those with ADHD and executive function challenges, organization systems that are complicated or require many steps, they are less likely to use them. Instead, use organization systems that are unfussy and streamlined. For example, tossing a t-shirt or a pair of jeans into a bin is a quick and easy way to maintain order. And the same goes for their closets. If hanging clothes on hangers is a major pain point, ditch the rod in the closet and put up hooks.

Do their bedrooms have large bins to accommodate the trash accumulating? You mentioned that shopping bags, clothing tags, and empty boxes sit in their rooms for weeks. Do their bedrooms have trash bins that are large enough to accommodate the trash that accumulates? When it’s time to clean up or organize, wastebaskets — especially large ones — are essential.

What is the most significant source of the bedroom mess? In your case, is it the shopping bags and boxes? If so, you might consider setting up an “unboxing or unbagging” station in your garage, kitchen, or wherever your household recycling and waste bins live. Instantly eliminating all the unnecessary waste from their rooms means there will be less for them to organize and manage. A win for all.

And I saved the best for last: Do they know where everything in their rooms goes? Everything in their messy bedrooms needs a home. It’s that simple: If you don’t know where something lives, it will live wherever you leave it!

[Free Download: Organizing Strategies for Children with ADHD 

And here’s some food for thought.

Kids crave independence. So, empower your boys by giving them choices whenever you can while still setting boundaries. For example, let your boys keep their closets however they want. But communal spaces, like the living room, must be clutter-free. Also, allow “clutter days.” They can have free rein over their rooms Monday through Friday, but Sunday is family clean-up day. Post the “house rules” where all can see and make sure that natural consequences are discussed and enacted consistently.

Once you establish what they can and cannot do and make everything accessible, cleaning and organizing will be much easier for your sons.

Good luck!

Messy Room with ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: The Messy Bedroom (and Backpack and Locker Cure) for Kids with ADHD
• Q: “Does My Child Really Not See Her Room as Messy?”
• Download: Common Executive Function Challenges — and Solutions
• eBook: Declutter Your Life (and Home! and Office!)

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Ninth grade is a big leap for kids with ADHD, whose emotional maturity and executive functioning may lag a few years behind that of their neurotypical peers. Your teen will be navigating a new school (and the stress of finding classrooms), new teachers, new peers, and more advanced classwork while undergoing hormonal changes and new social dynamics. These pressures can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or reveal related difficulties.

6 Tips for 9^th Grade

Help your teen meet the new challenges of high school with the following tips:

[Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

1. Build skills. Identify your teen’s true emotional maturity. For example, does your 8th grader relate to others on a 5th-grade level? Consider what skills will be essential in high school and what you can do together to build them. For example, you might coach your teen on how to respond to teachers and role-play the interactions so he can practice using a respectful tone. Reflecting on situations your teen has navigated successfully in middle school also builds confidence. Offer reassurance and support.
2. Get organized. Buy school supplies early, if possible, and set up a desk or a quiet place in the home for your teen to do his schoolwork. Create a routine for organizing your teen’s backpack and notebooks. Get familiar with the school’s website and apps for viewing classes, assignments, events, and grades.
3. Review accommodations. You and your teen should review his IEP or 504 Plan before school begins to ensure he has appropriate accommodations. If these supports fall short, your teen should be prepared to advocate for himself.
4. Listen up. After a tiring day of holding it together in school, your teen’s anxiety may worsen when he gets home. Be calm and accepting. Ask open-ended questions to gain insight. Create an atmosphere where your teen feels heard and can safely express his fears and concerns.
5. Work on time management. Help your teen assess the time required to complete a project or assignment. Then use time-tracking apps that let your teen set time markers for each step of a task from beginning through completion.
6. Encourage study buddies. Study groups and tutors can help lighten your teen’s memory load. Peer support and mentor programs may also help teens with ADHD navigate the social dynamics at school. Is your teen interested in tennis or swimming? Joining a sports team and pairing up with an older student on that team can foster a feeling of belonging and support.

9th Grade Readiness: Next Steps

• Learn: 50 High School Accommodations for Every ADHD Challenge
• Read: Your High School Get-It-Together Guide
• Free Download: Boost Your Teen’s Executive Functions
• Watch: High School Success: How to Prepare for the Transition from Middle to High School
• Sign Up: ADDitude’s Free Parenting Class: Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Child with ADHD 

Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, is the author of Why Will No One Play with Me?

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Hi ProPlannerMom:

One of the most frequent questions I hear from parents is how to get their students to use a daily planner. And as an academic/life coach who works daily with students with ADHD and executive functioning challenges (as well as the creator of an academic planner that teaches time management), my answer may surprise you.

Using an academic planner is a terrific strategy for knowing what we need to do and when we have the time to do it. And that’s the critical point here. A planner is not just a tool, but rather a strategy implemented to achieve the goals of…

• seeing tasks
• planning the time to get them done
• and knowing what may get in the way.

Try not to focus on getting your daughter to use a planner. Instead, find a system or another strategy that feels right for her that allows her to see the whole picture regarding time management.

Academic Planner Possibilities

I believe we lose students when we rigidly expect them to use our time-management and planning systems without regard for what works for them. However, I also believe that every student (and adult too!) needs some planning tool to… well, plan. And a proper academic planner is a time-management tool, not just a “list keeper.” When set up correctly, it helps you see your time and to-d0s as one BIG picture, so you can see what’s ahead and plan for it.

[Get This Free Download: Solving Disorganization at School]

You mention that she doesn’t like to write things down. Maybe it’s not the act of writing down that is the problem, but the location where she is expected to do it.

What do I mean? Perhaps she’s a techie and prefers to take notes digitally. So, using the Reminders and Notes apps on her phone combined with an electronic calendar might be the perfect solution for her. Or, if she is super creative, supply her with colored paper, markers, and/or sticky notes for inspiration.

One of my student coaching clients wrote his time and tasks on paper towels for his entire junior year of high school. He liked fun and bold things, so this strategy really resonated with him. Another client found using a memo pad attached to a clipboard incredibly helpful and easy to use.

The bottom line is that I’m never a fan of pushing any organization or time-management system on anyone. We learn by organizing our time, spaces, and everything in between. Different systems work for different brain types. I’m a paper planner girl; digital simply doesn’t work for me. (I will never change, no matter how much my husband would like to sync our calendars!)

[Watch: Practical Organization and Time Management Strategies for Teens]

Daily Planner Buy-In

You asked how I get buy-in from my students with ADHD. I get buy-in by asking my student coaching clients not what they have to do today, tomorrow, or even next week, but when!

Here are a few questions to try:

• “Have you planned your time to work on that assignment?”
• “Can you show me where you have the time?
• “When do you have time to do that assignment or study for that exam?”
• “How do you know you have that time? Can you see it?”
• “Do you know what else you may have to do at that time?”
• “Can you tell me what else may get in your way?”
• “You have two tests on Friday and get home from play rehearsal on Thursday at 9 p.m. What’s your plan to study for those exams? Can you see your available time?”

I have also found great results when enlisting the help of a teacher at school. If your daughter is missing assignments, perhaps her teacher can ask her what type of planner she uses and when she says she doesn’t, she can suggest some ways to help her keep on top of her tasks and time. As you know, when the message is delivered from someone other than us, our children tend to listen with a more open mind.

Good luck!

Daily Planner for Time Management: Next Steps

• Shop: ADDitude Readers’ Favorite Planners
• Q&A: What Electronic Planners Work for Students with ADHD?
• Download: ADHD Time Assessment Chart

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Does your tween or teen seem to lack all motivation? Do they need aggressive reminders to begin tasks — especially those they’ve put off for as long as possible? Is it almost always a struggle to finish?

Many adolescents with ADHD stall out when trying to start and/or complete assignments and tasks, especially when they are no fun, boring, or challenging. ADHD-related procrastination and disorganization, combined with perfectionism and low self-esteem, can hamper their ability to complete work or remember to turn in what they have accomplished. Successfully motivating and supporting these students means following a strength-based, collaborative approach that synthesizes cognitive behavioral interventions with practical routines and mindful awareness.

In this webinar, Dr. Sharon Saline, award-winning author, international speaker and consultant, explores how to motivate teens with ADHD and offers effective strategies for offering effective support while helping them build life-long skills.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How to identify the executive functioning skills that affect motivation
• About strategies for developing enduring time-management skills, organizational skills, and goal-directed persistence
• About effective, collaborative routines with meaningful incentives to reduce procrastination and perfectionism
• How to reduce overwhelm and anxiety by increasing confidence and resilience
• How to determine appropriate levels of parent participation in kids’ lives
• How to help tweens and teens with ADHD develop the accountability and autonomy that fosters success in school and in life

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Download or Stream the Podcast Audio

Click the play button below to listen to this episode directly in your browser, click the symbol to download to listen later, or open in your podcasts app: Apple Podcasts; Google Podcasts; Stitcher; Spotify; Amazon Music; iHeartRADIO.

More on Motivating Teens with ADHD

• Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement
• Read: How Can I Make My Teen Care About School?
• Read: The Roots of ADHD Motivation Problems

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on January 11, 2023, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life (#CommissionsEarned) and The ADHD Solution Deck (#CommissionsEarned) specializes in working with children, teens, emerging adults and families living with ADHD, anxiety, learning disabilities, autism, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. Her unique perspective – as a sibling in an ADHD home, combined with decades of experience as a clinical psychologist and educator/clinician consultant – assists her in guiding families and adults towards effective communication and closer connections. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as understanding ADHD, executive functioning, anxiety, motivation, different kinds of learners and the teen brain. Click here to read her full bio.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

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It is essential that your son pack up his backpack the night before and leave it by — maybe even blocking — the door he exits. For things he takes every day, I suggest making a mnemonic sung to the tune of “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” but modified to his items. So it could be: “Lunch, homework, keys, and phone.” Of course, this doesn’t address one-time items, such as permission slips, or weekly items, like gym shoes and musical instruments.

Weekly and regular routines can go on a large weekday matrix that is hung by the door, so he knows on Tuesday night to pack his shoes for gym on Wednesday. One-time items can be jotted on a neon Post-It or noted on a phone with a reminder text or a memo, whichever is most convenient and effective for him at the moment. His most valuable tool, however, is you.

[Read: The Messy Student’s Guide to Order]

It may take a month to get him in the habit of packing up the night before, checking the matrix and reminder notes, and placing everything in front of the door. You should be there in the morning to “run the tune.” A good month of this should make it a habit. You might not completely eliminate your trips to the school, but they should become fewer. And best of all, Mom, you will have taught him a valuable organizing system that he can use for the rest of his life.

School Organization: Next Steps

• Download: Your Free Guide to School Organization
• Read: This School Year, Get It Together (and Keep It There)
• Listen: How to Start (and End) The School Year Organized

Susan C. Pinsky is a professional organizer specializing in ADHD. She is the author of Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD and The Fast and Furious 5 Step Organizing Solution(#CommissionsEarned).

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Hi HopelessMom:

It’s exhausting and frustrating to share tips and tools to help your child, only to be repeatedly rebuffed or shut down.

So, what is the right thing to do? How much should you push vs. back off? And can you really teach him the skills he needs to be successful? The short answer: Absolutely!

The long answer: Time-management challenges affect most teens — especially those with attention deficits and executive dysfunction. I’ve heard countless stories from parent-coaching clients and friends about their teens — tales of research papers written the night before they were due, struggles to get out the door in the morning, or consistently being late for activities — that, when examined closely, are all centered around time-management issues. And unfortunately, these issues — and parents’ efforts to address them — tend to create a very toxic environment in the household.

While this problem is ubiquitous, common ground can be found. Because though teens will insist, “It’s not a problem,” or “I’ve got everything under control,” or worse, “I don’t need your help,” very few teenagers enjoy all-nighters, last-minute scrambles, or constant arguments with their parents.

[Free Resource: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

Teens want to do well. And succeed. They just don’t always know how or want to do it their way. If we start with those understandings, we can get on the path to success. Together.

I’m often asked if all my student coaching clients are “success stories.” No, of course not. But many are. Here are the three important lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Lesson #1: Neither Helicopter Nor Hands-Off Parenting Is 100% Right

Parent involvement is critical to helping a student succeed. I don’t mean you need to turn into a helicopter parent and hover over your teen each minute. It also does not mean being completely hands-off and letting your teen figure out everything on their own. Granted, your degree of involvement will depend on your teen. But whether you’re offering support and guidance from the sidelines or providing scaffolding every step of the way, creating the proper nurturing, collaborative, and positive environment in which your teen can reinforce what they’ve learned is essential for them to master these skills.

Lesson #2: Time-Management Skills Take Practice

Time-management skills are not something to be taught once, mastered, and moved on from. They are LEARNED skills. To master a learned skill, one must PRACTICE. A lot. There is no magic elixir here; consistency is key. Trust me on this one.

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD?]

When my son was younger, I made every available opportunity and situation into a teaching moment. “Eli, if you need to be at play rehearsal at 5:15 p.m., what time do you need to leave the house?” “We’re leaving the house at 8 p.m. How much more time do you have to get ready?” And my favorite, “What’s your plan on studying for your math test on Friday when you don’t get home from play rehearsal on Thursday night until 9:30 p.m.?” And on it went.

Lesson #3: The Best Teacher Rarely Helicopters

Know when it’s time to bring in professionals.

Your teen needs to be on board and willing to work with you for any strategies to work. And, truthfully, parents aren’t always the best teachers for their children. Whether emotions get in the way or you don’t have the skill set to teach your teen, don’t be hard on yourself. An ADHD/student coach or executive functioning tutor may be the answer. How often have you said, “He won’t listen to me, but he’ll listen to his coach/teacher/tutor!” In my years of practice, even the students most resistant to their parents’ help came around. It just took time.

Don’t get discouraged. Trust yourself — and your son. Try different approaches until you find one that works. Learn together if he will let you. Just keep the lines of communication open. Remember, if it doesn’t work out, you can always bring in a professional. This is only the beginning.

Good Luck.

Helicopter Parent vs. Hands-off: Next Steps

• Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
  
• Learn: How Not to Helicopter Parent Your Teen with ADHD
• Read: What Is Helicopter Parenting vs. Scaffolding?
• Read: 5 Ways to Manage Paper at Home

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Chore charts, when tackled consistently, may improve childhood executive function skills. The regular completion of family and self-care chores for kids was associated with gains in inhibition, planning, and working memory, according to a new study by researchers at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia, and published in Australian Occupational Therapy. ¹

The “successful attainment of these skills in early childhood is associated with later reading performance and mathematical ability and is a predictor of overall academic achievement in later childhood,” the researchers wrote.

The study examined the number of chores completed daily by 207 neurotypical and neurodivergent children between the ages of 5 and 13 in 2020, based on questionnaires filled out by their caregivers. The researchers found that kids’ engagement in routine chores predicted improved working memory and inhibition (the ability to think before acting).

The questionnaires measured completion rates for chores related to self-care, family care, and pet care. After controlling for age, gender, and disability, self-care and family care-related chores were found to significantly predict working memory and inhibition. No relationship was found between pet care chores and executive functioning skills, which was unexpected “based on research suggesting that animals act as a social support and can improve mood, which is associated with optimal cognitive functioning,” the researchers wrote.

“It is, however, possible that tasks such as pouring kibble or water into a bowl are not complex or challenging enough to aid in the development of executive functioning, compared with chores like cooking that require multiple steps.”

Cooking and gardening appear to be particularly beneficial to the development of executive function skills generally, according to available literature.^{2, 3, 4} In a study of older adults, computer-simulated cooking interventions improved executive functioning.² No research is available involving children, “but child-focused cooking and gardening programs have found improvements in children’s self-confidence, self-efficacy, and team building, suggesting such programs have transferrable benefits that may expand to executive functioning,” the researchers wrote.

Additional results from the study showed females and older children engaged in more chores than males and younger children. Gender distribution was relatively equal (52.2% were male children). Most parents reported that their child was completing the same number of chores as before the pandemic. Approximately 11% of children had a disability: autism spectrum disorder, dyslexia, and ADHD were the most commonly reported.

Sources

¹Tepper, D. L., Howell, T. J., & Bennett, P. C. (2022). Executive functions and household chores: Does engagement in chores predict children’s cognition? Australian Occupational Therapy Journal, 1– 14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1440-1630.12822
²Wang, M. Y., Chang, C. Y., & Su, S. Y. (2011). Whats cooking?—Cognitive training of executive function in the elderly. Frontiers in Psychology, 2(228), 1–11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2011.00228
³Davis, K. L., & Brann, L. S. (2017). Examining the benefits and barriers of instructional gardening programs to increase fruit and vegetable intake among preschool-age children. Journal of Environmental and Public Health, 2017(2506864), 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1155/2017/2506864
⁴Utter, J., Fay, A. P., & Denny, S. (2017). Child and youth cooking programs: More than good nutrition? Journal of Hunger & Environmental Nutrition, 12(4), 554–580. https://doi.org/10.1080/19320248.2015.11127

A child in hyperfocus may become too engrossed in a video game to hear his parents call his name. An adult in hyperfocus may be reading a book so intently that they lose track of time and miss an appointment.

Some neurotypical people may occasionally experience a hyperfocus-like state. However, it occurs more often in people with conditions that reflect attention issues, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

Hyperfocus can prove helpful when you’re able to channel its intense focus into difficult tasks, such as paying bills or completing homework. People with ADHD experience the frustrating and time-wasting side of hyperfocus when they ignore pressing responsibilities because they are too immersed in unproductive activities. Basically, you get too engrossed in enjoyable things (like online shopping) and practically forget about your to-do list priorities (like the taxes due next week.)

Hyperfocus vs. Focus vs. Moderate Focus

Focus is the spotlight of your attention. Here’s an example of finding focus. Try making a fist, putting your hand on your forehead and pretending it’s a beam of light. Where are you directing this beam? You’ll find an immediate answer: “Oh, okay, what I’m paying attention to is this. This is what I’m working on.” You may also notice what you are not paying attention to. That’s part of observing your focus.

Moderate focus happens when we’re doing something but may experience some distraction. You are more aware of your surroundings and can interact briefly.

[Free Download: How to Focus (When Your Brain Says ‘No!’)]

Hyperfocus is a more extreme version of focus. It is when everything else falls away, and the only thing we’re paying attention to and engaged with is the task or activity we’re doing.

Flow State vs. Hyperfocus

Being in a flow state is much more common than hyperfocusing. In Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., writes that most people will experience flow at one time or another.¹

Csikszentmihalyi interviewed a composer who described flow like this: “You are in an ecstatic state to such a point that you feel as though you almost don’t exist. I have experienced this time and again. My hand seems devoid of myself, and I have nothing to do with what is happening. I just sit there watching it in a state of awe and wonderment. And [the music] just flows out of itself.”¹

When we are in a flow state, we’re moving and you’re grooving, but we’re not so zoomed into a task that we’re unaware of our surroundings. Sometimes, I like to put on music and dance in the kitchen when I clean. I’m not hyperfocused. I’m just trying to get into the flow of cleaning. A hyperfocused person would not stop cleaning until it was well beyond what most consider clean.

[Free Expert Resource: Secrets of Your ADHD Brain]

How Much Hyperfocus Is Too Much?

Some people become concerned about exiting a hyperfocused state and never returning. If they try to stop hyperfocusing (after working on something for four hours without eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom), will they be able to get back into what they were doing? One of my clients said she didn’t stop because she didn’t know if she could re-engage. You get into this mentality: “If I could just do one more thing, that will make this time even more productive.” So, you just keep going and going.

When this happens, we’re thinking so hard that we are using up fuel in our brains. Those energy reserves are glucose. The glucose centers (fuel) in our brain get depleted and adrenaline (cortisol) kicks in to keep us going. Hyperfocusing for long periods can cause stress reactions. Forgetting to eat, sleep, and hydrate, causes people to become irritable because they are running on fumes.

For hyperfocus to be useful, you need to give yourself a scheduled, screen-free break. Take a walk or have a snack. Read the paper or a magazine. Do a Sudoku or crossword puzzle. When you consider your planned break, do something that is pleasurable in its own way but won’t drag you in. For example, I love to walk outside in the winter, but after 15 or 20 minutes, I’m cold, so I’ll come home. I like to be outside, but I don’t want a frozen nose. Think about how you’re setting up your scales of balance and set a time limit for your break.

These pauses give you time to integrate the work that you’ve just completed and let your brain simmer with leftover ideas. Before pausing, leave notes about where you were and what you were thinking about. That’s the important thing. If you’re writing, empty your head. Your note doesn’t have to be grammatically correct. Then when you come back, you know where to begin and what to do.

How to Transition Out of Hyperfocus

One of the problems with getting out of hyperfocus is that whatever you do after will not be as compelling. After all, now your brainpower is so supercharged, energized, or maybe depleted. It’s hard to shift, right? The lure of the dopamine surge is strong.

Transitioning from a hyperfocused, high-dopamine-reward activity to a lower-dopamine one requires a lot of impulse control, emotional regulation, and metacognition. These skills do not come naturally to ADHD brains, especially developing ones, so start by creating and following schedule. Setting time restrictions and using alerts for watching YouTube videos or playing video games can help you (and your kids too) better transition off that hyperfocus activity into whatever comes next.

Articulation helps with the transition because you’re naming the activity you’re shifting to. Try saying to yourself: “I’m going to stop writing this report, use the bathroom and breathe some fresh air. Maybe get an iced tea. Then I can begin again.”

Encouraging self-talk is just as important for adults as it is for kids. The difference is that kids with ADHD usually need some help coming up with the phrases to say to themselves during the transition process: “I’ve stopped playing my game. I’m now walking into another room because I’m going to eat dinner,” or “I’m leaving the game. I’m going to play cards with my mother,” or “I’m leaving the game. We’re going for a run.” And by using language this way, you’re not just engaging some attention on that activity and assigning some value to it but also nurturing metacognition–self-awareness.

Hyperfocus Transition Tips for Kids

How can you help manage your child’s hyperfocus? First, set firm time limits for their high dopamine, hyperfocus activities (usually screen time).

Second, offer them an appealing alternative to this activity and a reward for ending it. For example, “If you get off your video game after the allotted time, we will play cards right away or you can pick the family movie for tonight.”

Third, help your child transition to lower dopamine activities by identifying the ones that really interest them and posting that list in the kitchen. Something that is fun and not a chore. Maybe it’s listening to music, helping with cooking, or riding a stationary bike. It’s hard for a child to transition from a video game and go straight to doing homework or chores. They need an in-between.

Harnessing Adult Hyperfocus

How can adults harness their hyperfocus and use it for their own benefit? Begin by listing all your daily tasks, prioritizing them into a smaller list with just three items and approach them one by one. Break down tasks into smaller chunks so that you can work on something, feel a sense of accomplishment, and then work on something else.

Set a timer to hold yourself accountable during periods of hyperfocus. You could also ask a friend, colleague, or family member to call or email you at a specific time. This can help break up intense periods of hyperfocus. On the flip side, when someone with ADHD is deeply engaged in doing something, a person may come in and innocently interrupt the work session without understanding the consequences to you. You might get irritable or be unable to return to what you were doing. It’s important to talk to our loved ones and colleagues about ADHD hyperfocus — when you do it and why it matters. If your hyperfocus is humming away on a work-related or school-related task, they need to respect the process and come back during a break time. You want to maximize your productivity and minimize your distractions.

Ultimately, the best way to cope with hyperfocus is not to fight it or forbid certain activities but to harness it and set limits. It can be a superpower if you learn how to manage it effectively.

Hyperfocus vs. Flow State: Next Steps

• Free Download: ADHD Time Assessment Chart
  
• Watch: This Video Explains ADHD Hyperfocus
• Read: Is Hyperfocus a Blessing or a Curse? Or Both?

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Sources

¹Csikszentmihalyi,M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. HarperCollins.

Hi WitsEndmom:
Have you tried color-coding techniques to help your daughter be more organized at home and school? In my work as an ADHD family coach and at home with my own kids, I have had much success using color-coding systems (especially for young children) for to-do lists, school supplies, and reminders.

Color Coding Improves Memory

Here’s why it works.

Color plays a significant role in enhancing memory performance.¹ A 2013 study in the Malaysian Journal of Medical Sciences, revealed that color increases the chance for environmental stimuli to be encoded, stored, and retrieved successfully.²

When we arrange information — to-do lists, calendars, shopping lists — into color blocks, our brains can more quickly process the information, increasing our likelihood of completing tasks.

But apart from the science, color coding is a fun and easy way to help children get and stay organized!

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD?]

Color Coding: Next Steps

Here are my top eight color-coding tips:

1. Color code your child’s to-dos. Use different-colored sticky notes to help your child track when to do specific tasks like schoolwork or household responsibilities. You can also use the color of the sticky note to indicate the urgency of an assignment or responsibility. For example, anything highlighted in green, written in green pen, or on a green sticky note means “Go!” or top priority.

2. Color code to distinguish class notes from home-study notes. Some of my students find it helpful to separate what they learned in class from what they learned while studying or reviewing at home. Perhaps your daughter can take class notes with a blue pen and use a black pen for notes taken at home. This system can be helpful if she has a question about the material she is learning. She will know where she learned it and can quickly relay that information or question back to her teacher.

3. Color code school supplies. Have your daughter designate a color for each of her subjects. Then use that specific color for every binder, folder, notebook, etc., needed for that class. If your child uses a homework station, follow the color scheme for storage bins for class-specific supplies. For example, say blue is the designated math color. Then calculators and rulers get placed in the blue container to accompany her blue math notebook.

4. Use colored bracelets for reminders. Once your daughter assigns every subject a color, buy her a set of colored bracelets. (Inexpensive varieties are easy to find online.) She can wear these as a reminder to hand in an assignment or if she has homework in a specific class.

[Read: The Daily Habits of Organized Kids]

5. Organize your daughter’s activities by color. Use large totes in different colors to store athletic and extracurricular gear (dance in red, tennis in blue, and so on). This will keep everything organized in one spot and easy to grab when heading out the door to a lesson or game. You can also customize each bag with the name of the activity right on it. No more tap shoes hiding with the lacrosse stick.

6. Color code towels. Have your daughter select a color for her towels. Sew colored loops onto the edge of white towels, or purchase towels in that color so she can instantly identify them. This helps tremendously when it’s time to do or put away laundry.

7. Color code chargers, cables, and cords. Chargers, cables, and cords were always disappearing at my house – until I color-coded them per child. No more stealing chargers! It’s a win-win!

8. Use colored bins to store personal items. Have your daughter assign different colors to her stuff (hair care and make-up can go in a white bin, photos in blue, etc.). When it’s clean-up time, she will know what goes into each specific color bin. Knowing where everything is will takes the guesswork and agony out of cleaning up!

Color Coding for ADHD Brains: Next Steps

• The Messy Student’s Guide to Order: ADHD Organizing Tips
• Download: Routines for Morning and Night
• Self-Test: Common ADHD Symptoms in Girls

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

 Sources

¹Wichmann FA, Sharpe LT, Gegenfurtner KR. (2002, May). The contributions of color to recognition memory for natural scenes. Journal of Experimental Psycholgy. Learning, Memory, and Congnition. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547221085502

²Cuba Bustinza, Dzulkifli MA, Mustafar MF. (2013, March). The influence of colour on memory performance: a review. The Malaysian Journal of Medical Sciences.https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23983571

Hi Time Management Mom:

I love that you want to show her and not tell her. Visualizing time is no easy task since it’s not a physical object. Think about it: You can’t see or hold time in your hands. This makes the concept of time very difficult to understand and invisible to most of us.

Learning to see time in more tangible ways can remove its invisibility. Here’s one of my favorite student coaching stories to illustrate my point.

My 16-year-old client, Michelle, couldn’t understand why she never had enough time to get a significant amount of her homework done before leaving for swim practice each day. She was a star swimmer and practiced every day after school, traveling 3o minutes to and from practice.

By the time she returned home in the evening, showered, and ate dinner, she faced mountains of homework. Michelle could only complete what was due for the next day. Because of the late hour, she put off larger projects and studying.

[Free Resource: ADHD Time Assessment Chart]

When I first met with Michelle, she mapped out her after-school schedule for me. She left school at 2:45 P.M. and needed to be at swim practice by 5 P.M. In her estimation, she had approximately two hours to finish her homework before practice.

But Michelle never considered her travel time home from school, after-school responsibilities, and even the time it took to leave class, gather what she needed for the evening, and walk to her car.

However, I knew that if I told her this, it would be hard for her to grasp. I wanted to make a more realistic point that would pack a “visual punch” once she saw how she spent her time each day before practice.

I had Michelle track, on paper, how she spent her time for a week.

It looked like this:

• 2:45 P.M. School Over
• 3 P.M. Leave School for Home
• 3:10 P.M. Arrive Home/Have Snack
• 3:30 P.M. Walk Dog
• 3:45 P.M. Change for Swimming
• 4 P.M. Homework
• 4:30 P.M. Leave for Swimming
• 5 P.M. Arrive at Swimming

The two hours of homework time Michelle thought she had was really only 30 minutes! Huge difference.

[Free Resource: Routines for Morning and Night]

Have your daughter track how spends her time over the course of a few weeks. It’s something she can easily do to gain an honest and accurate portrait of her time.

In other words, let the data tell the story. And as the saying goes, “You can’t argue with the data.”

Good Luck!

Poor Time Management: Next Steps

• Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
  
• Read: ADHD Minds Are Trapped in Now (& Other Time Management Truths)
• Read: 41 Time Hacks Used by ADHD Ninjas (aka Our Favorite Experts)

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Hi ADHDMom:

As you know, it’s not only difficult to find organizing systems that work for you and your family; it can be nearly impossible to maintain the ones you create if you don’t have everyone onboard. Here are a few of my favorite tips to get you started.

1. Be certain everything has a home. There is no hope of keeping clutter from piling up unless everything that lives in your home (and I mean everything) has a home. Simply put, clutter is delayed decision making. And usually, the delay is due to not knowing where something goes. If you don’t know where something lives in your home, you’re more apt to let it sit wherever it lands.

2. Be realistic about space. Start by asking yourself if you have room for everything you want to keep. For this process to truly work, you need to start at the end and not at the beginning. Meaning, you need to determine how much space you have for all of your furniture, kitchenware, books, pictures, clothing, paper, sentimental items, and belongings of everyone who lives in the home. Once you designate homes for all your stuff, maintaining our organizing systems will naturally flow.

3. Categorize your stuff. Once you truly know how much space you have, assign a specific amount of space to each category of stuff. For example, in addition to the kitchen, you might dedicate two shelves in the garage or a corner in the basement for kitchen overflow items. In other words, you choose first how much space to devote to specific categories and then decide what goes there.

[Get This Free Download: Your Guide to Controlling Clutter]

4. Gather the troops. I don’t know your kids’ ages or what rooms in your home need the most work, but enlisting your children and your partner (if there is one) in the process can make all the difference. The same rules apply for them. Determine how much space to devote to their stuff and have your children decide what goes there. In doing so, you are helping them build critical decision-making skills. Everyone will feel more in control of their stuff, and you’ll feel more in control of the clutter.

I want to leave you with this piece of advice that my adult clients with ADHD find really works: Trying to get your whole house decluttered and organized all at once can be very overwhelming and exhausting. And truthfully nearly impossible. Try starting the process by creating clutter-free zones. So perhaps you allow your children to keep their rooms however they want for the time being, but communal spaces like the den or kitchen are top priorities to become clutter-free.

And if you are looking for more organizing tips and tools, please check out our website at orderoochaos.com.

ADHD Household Clutter: Next Steps

• Free Download: Clean Up and Get Organized in One Weekend
• Read: The Professional Organizer’s Guide to Getting Rid of ADHD Clutter
• Read: How I Got My Messy House Organized

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Why Task Switching and Transitions Roil ADHD Teens

Transitions are difficult for ADHD brains. Why? What seems like a simple process actually comprises several discrete steps, any one of which could cause a derailment.

The first step to supporting your teen is to get to know the different aspects of transitions, as well as the various stages that are involved with task switching.

3 Types of Transitions

• Physical transitions include walking from one room to another, taking out a laptop or a notebook, and getting out of bed. We often think that a transition is finished just because the physical aspect has been completed, but this is false.
• Mental transitions take place internally. When switching tasks, we must change how we are thinking. For example, the competitive mindset needed to play a sport has to change when we’re going out to dinner with family after the game. If we don’t move out of the previous mindset, we won’t be as cooperative as we should be in the new setting. The executive function challenges that go with ADHD may cause this shift to lag.
• Emotional transitions, like mental ones, take place internally and are hard to observe. (The clues are in the nonverbal cues.) Sometimes we have to go from one emotional state to another to take on a new task or situation. When a teen says that they don’t “feel like” doing homework, it’s likely that they haven’t emotionally transitioned to that task yet. The emotional regulation challenges that go with ADHD can make these transitions difficult, and they may cause a child to get stuck in a powerful feeling like excitement, anger, or shame.

A single transition may comprise all three of these.

[Get This Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?]

How Things Can Go Wrong When Task Switching

There are three stages to each transition.

1. Making the initial move away from the activity
2. Navigating the path between the last activity and the future one
3. Moving into the coming task or activity.

Things can go wrong at each of these stages.

Problems at the first stage:

• If ending a pleasant, enjoyable task, it may be hard for your teen to let go of the fun that they’re having.
• If the task is urgent, that, too, can make putting it down hard.
• ADHD hyperfocus could make it difficult to disconnect.

Problems at the second stage:

• The path between leaving a task and entering a new one requires focus, a common weak spot for teens with ADHD. It is easy for a teen to get sidetracked and distracted before entering a new activity, especially if it doesn’t start quickly enough.

Problems at the third stage:

• Unclear instructions can make it difficult to move on to the new task. If your teen misunderstands, they may not start the task soon enough.
• If the task is a dreaded one, or one charged with negative feelings, your teen might delay getting started or avoid it altogether. This delay could lead to harsh words from Mom or Dad, which could lead to even stronger negative feelings.

[Read: The Trickiest Transitions for Our Kids — and Proven Remedies]

Task Switching: 6 Tips for Helping Teens with Transitions

1. Establish easy-to-follow routines to let kids know what to expect, and when to expect it. Establishing and following set patterns of behavior goes a long way toward smoothing transitions.

2 . Cue your teen in advance of upcoming transitions. Giving kids a heads-up when a transition is coming will give them more time to make the needed mental and emotional shifts.

3. Use checklists and other visual reminders that build independence as our kids learn to navigate transitions and increase their ownership of their behavior.

4. Play music during transitions. Music helps us time how long a transition will take, and it can also soothe emotions that might arise from the change of tasks.

5. Use timers and reminders. Timers and digital reminders allow parents to stop nagging and, therefore, reduce conflict at home.

6. Let your teen take the lead on transitions. Give a teen as much control over transitions as they can manage. Let them take charge of moving from one task to another. This will reduce the mishegoss of transitions.

7. Understanding goes a long way. Transitions are more complicated than most of us realize. Understanding and patience will go a long way in helping your teen get over the transition hump.

Task Switching and Transitions for ADHD Brains: Next Steps

• Free Download: Sample Schedules for Reliable Family Routines
• Read: 4 Strategies for Easing Tricky Transitions
• Blog: How Zoning Out Helps My Daughter Be All-In

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Visual Tools for Organization

Out of sight, out of mind — many disorganization problems in children with ADHD stem from this truism. Thanks to ADHD-related problems with focus and working memory, the things that are no longer visible are quickly forgotten.

The key to solving disorganization problems is to make the invisible visible. Here, learn how to use visual tools like checklists and whiteboards to keep your child organized.

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

Hi PlannerMom!

I thought long and hard about how to answer this question. Why? Because to know me as an academic/life coach for teens and college students is to know that I’m 100% on the “YOU-figure-out-the-best-systems-and-strategies-that-work-for-you” bandwagon. But when it comes to using a paper planner? It’s non-negotiable, as far as I’m concerned.

Here’s what I tell my students: You need to use some type of planning tool to well… plan! It’s all well and good to know what you must do, but a proper paper academic planner helps you visualize what’s ahead so you can plan (there’s that word again) for and manage commitments and know when you have time to do them.

Bottom line? Your child must see their time to learn how to manage it. And they do need to learn to manage it. I strongly believe that a student can only truly see their time by using a paper planner. One professor I know included a paper planner on her supply list for her class and made it a mandatory requirement for her college class to stress its importance. She even went so far as to predict that those students who refused to use one would fail her course.

She was right.

[Get This Free Download: Solving Disorganization at School]

Here are some additional reasons why paper planners are so important.

1. Writing in a paper planner helps you remember. Philosopher and psychologist Nicolas Clausen said it best: “Typing only activates the ‘language’ areas of our brain; whereas writing with a pen or pencil activates multiple brain regions and, therefore, makes the process complex, sensory-rich, and memorable.” Plenty of research shows that students who write by hand have a higher retention rate than those who use electronic devices.

2. Paper planners are more time efficient. I’ve been selling this concept to my students for years. But it’s true. How do I know? I test it by timing them! I ask them to record the same homework assignment in their academic planners and then again on an electronic devise. The physical planner wins every time!

3. Electronic devices are distracting. I hear all day long from my students that when they go to open an app on their phone or computer to write down something, Instagram/Snapchat/text messages/YouTube starts calling out their name. And, of course, what they intended to do gets pushed out of focus.

[Read: How to Convince Your Teen to (Actually) Use a Planner]

4. Paper planners build time-management skills. I can’t say this enough. They allow you to see the big picture using clear weekly and monthly views to help you create time sense and future awareness. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard a student say, “I need to see everything in one place.” Seeing helps us plan, prioritize, and stay on task and track.

I’m so thrilled your daughter is using our academic planner. If you need more information on how to use it more effectively, we have many free videos on our website at orderoochaos.com.

Good Luck!

Best Planners: Next Steps

• Shop: ADDitude Readers’ Favorite Planners
• Q&A: What Are the Essential Components of a Good School Planner?
• Read: 9 Secrets to a Super Effective School Planner

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.